Dating a very busy man
But this means that my perfectionist nature makes my life a living hell – trying to meet the demands of work and home.
Although I know where @Kay is coming from, I’m actually glad to see this comment, b/c what you do before kids when you a part of an ambitious couple and what you do after kids when you are a part of an ambitious couple can change drastically.
Communications is clearly key (and wish I had enough foresight to apply this advice to myself).
Particularly, you should make sure that your 10-year plans are compatible: for example, if either of you plan/hope-to off-ramp (or have your partner off-ramp) when kids enter the picture, that is something that should be discussed now.
Finally: I just asked a friend who just got engaged to an over-achieving, busy guy (albeit in a different field), for her advice for reader S.
I think you really need to assess what level the partnership is at before you make decisions or operating assumptions that will affect your career (or your finances, for that matter).
I know you recently did a post on dating someone making less money/having more time, and I really enjoyed it.
But when the kids came along, husband turned into a real 50s throwback.Rather than being competitive, try to see his successes as your successes as well.Appreciate and support his career and his successes, and those favors & support will be returned. Not always, but often the happier/more satisfied a person is in his/her career, the happier he/she will be in the relationship, so be supportive.First of all, it’s difficult to develop a meaningful relationship when both of you are working 60-100 hours as week on a consistent basis.Add to that (and you mentioned this earlier about yourself), a lot of us get really competitive with our significant others about our careers.Which means I cannot afford to be a stay-at-home mom, which is what he’s effectively demanding (though he’ll never admit it).